


Never Again

by smolsummerchild



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Castiel in Purgatory, Dean in Purgatory, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, enjoy, how do you tag stuff idk man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-12
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-06-01 18:25:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6531109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smolsummerchild/pseuds/smolsummerchild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Castiel wakes up from his first sleep without his grace, he sees Dean getting pulled into Purgatory after killing a Leviathan. Cas, being Cas, goes after Dean in order to save him. He realizes his feelings for Dean. He wants to tell Dean how he feels, but how can he do that without his grace?</p><p>This is a small AU where Cas lost his grace during the Leviathan period.</p><p>Please feel free leave feedback. Enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Fall

**Author's Note:**

> This is only my second fanfic so don't expect it to be gold...I'm having fun writing it, and I hope you like it!

The Fall  
“There’s nothing we could have done to prevent it. Cas, you did good back there. ” 

Cas shut the door of the motel with a frustrated sigh. Of course, Dean was right. Cas knew that. He just wished this knowledge would take away his guilt. Dean and his brother Sam were hunters. They felt that it was their job to rid the world of as many things that go bump in the night as they could. Cas just tagged along, mostly. He didn’t mind, since they told him they liked having him there; it made him feel needed.

On this particular trip, the trio went to “gank a son-of-a-bitch”, as Dean so eloquently put it. The son-of-a-bitch in question turned out to be a whole nest of vampires. Cas hated vampires. The way they turned innocent humans into beings like them disgusted him. How they could drink the blood of an innocent being would never cease to appal him. The human girl they had been draining when Dean, Sam, and Cas had gotten there had been almost dead by the time they arrived. They managed to kill all the vampires, but the girl was too far gone to save. Ever since Cas’ grace had been stolen, he couldn’t use his usual “angel mojo” to heal her.

“Hey, Cas, why don’t you get some rest?” Sam smiled reassuringly. Sam always seemed to know how Cas felt. He was the more compassionate brother, always asking of Cas was happy and making sure he was included. This time, however, he had overlooked the fact that since Cas was used to being an angel, he had never slept before, and it was only his second day without his grace. The brothers were trying to make everything as normal as possible for him, which was the best they could do at the moment.  
“Dean and I will try to find another case for tomorrow. And don’t be alarmed if I’m not here when you wake up. I’m just going to buy some food for us since the motel didn’t have much”  
“All right, Sam. Wake me if you find anything.” He turned away, but stopped when he heard Sam’s voice.

“Cas...don’t beat yourself up about it, okay? Remember, every hunter has that trip they wish they’d done better. This just might be yours.”

“I know, Sam. Goodnight.” Cas walked into his own motel bedroom. Motels were something he had yet to get used to. 

He was about to lie down in the uncomfortable-looking bed and try to lose consciousness when he remembered that humans also had to brush their teeth before bed. He had no idea how to do this. The bathroom had a cupboard where Cas had stored a small bag containing a small tube of mint flavored toothpaste and a bright blue toothbrush. He really liked blue. 

As he stood on the cold tile floor in his blue striped pajama pants, Cas realized that the Winchesters didn’t see him like he saw himself. He had begun to see his vessel as a version of himself, and he supposed that when he lost his grace he gained some traits that he didn’t want, such as self-loathing and insecurity. When he had his grace, Cas didn’t think about his appearance or how anyone thought of him. Now he noticed small things, such as how his hair always seemed to stick up in odd places, or how, even when he shaved, he always seemed to have a ghost of a beard that he didn’t want. Castiel, you have a duty. You told Sam you’d sleep. Stop with this inescapable self-examination. He finished pushing the toothpaste around in his mouth and spit it out, as he’d seen Dean do. Maybe I shouldn’t have used the whole tube, Cas thought. 

Eager to get away from the thoughts that came from the bathroom, he quickly walked back to his room, where he almost ran into Dean. 

“Woah there, buddy, what’s with the hurry?” Dean joked, holding him at arm’s length. “I thought you were tired!” Cas watched Dean for a few seconds, not sure how to respond. He noticed his friend was looking anywhere but at him. This was odd, although he remembered this had happened a few times when he wasn’t wearing his usual outfit, which consisted of many layers. He felt his face heat up, although he was not sure what purpose this served.

“Well...goodnight Dean.”

“Wha--yeah, ‘night Cas.”

Finally back at his bed, Cas sighed. It had been such a long day. He hoped sleep would come naturally for him.  
He lay down, pulled up the sheets, and buried his nose in them. He liked finding new smells. They were a small upside to being human. He knew the human nose could recognize more than 2,000 different smells, but he never knew how strong they were. His favorite smell was Dean’s. It was a mix of aftershave and the vintage smell of the bunker, along with a bit of liquor. It made him think of home, and, for a reason unexplainable to him, home reminded him of Dean.  
After two hours of thinking about the reason for life, Cas was finally able to doze off a bit. He felt his consciousness slip away until he was fast asleep.

Castiel woke to the sound of his own snores. He quickly evened his breathing. He hoped he hadn’t woken up Dean or Sam. The sound might have carried through the thin walls.  
He stood up and suddenly felt the inevitable feeling of having to pee. As he hobbled to the bathroom to relieve himself of the uncomfortable feeling, he thought, I will never get used to urinating. It is peculiar that this is a necessary process of life. 

When he was done, he remembered to flush (the last time he went he forgot), and when he walked out he made sure to avoid the mirror after last night’s occurrence with it. Deciding to brush his teeth after eating breakfast and not before, he walked briskly out of the bathroom and into the main area of the motel. There he was met with a horrifying sight.

Dean was being held at knifepoint by none other than Dick Roman, Leviathan extraordinaire. 

“Cas!” Dean let out a strangled shout. 

“Dean! What the hell happened? I don’t understand!” Cas hoped to intimidate the Leviathan with his foul language. That was what Dean did, anyway.

“Well, Mister Castiel, as you can see, I’ve found your little, ah, hideaway. You should really work on your camouflage. Do you always choose the third motel in the phone book?” As terrified as Cas was for Dean’s life, he couldn’t help but be annoyed at the monster’s attitude. “Here’s the deal, Cassy. I take your little boyfriend here, and you pretend it never happened and move on. There’s really no point in saving him, and he said so himself.” Dick cleared his throat and made his best impersonation of Dean. “‘Can’t you see, I’m poison’, blah blah blah. You’re better off without him.”

“Cas...he’s right.” Dean looked at Cas with defeated eyes. But when Dick glanced away he gained a hardened expression. He took the chance to take his left leg and kick Dick in the--ouch! There?? He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out what looked like a bone...but...that couldn’t be! How the heck did he make the weapon so fast? As he was thinking about this in amazement and horror, Dean turned around and thrust the sharpened bone into the Leviathan’s neck with all his strength. 

A look of shock passed over Dick’s face. He swayed as black liquid spurted out of the wound. He let go of Dean and fell to his knees. 

“That was the bone of a righteous mortal soaked in three kinds of special blood.” Dean grinned. “Can’t be killed, huh? Guess you were wrong.” He stared mercilessly at the dying monster before him. 

As Cas watched the scene, oddly immobile, a small, peaceful smile crossed his face, which was soon replaced with a grin. The air around Dean and Dick seemed to be getting hotter and...thicker by the minute. The air shimmered with heat. Dick’s body and the area around him started to pulse with sudden energy.

“Cas! What the hell’s happening?” Dean shouted over the sound of the air waves.

“I don’t know!”

As he spoke, Dick let out a horrible, evil laugh. There was a deafening roar as Dick--quite literally--exploded. In a different situation, Cas was sure Dean would have laughed at this, as he’d made many jokes about the Leviathan’s name before, most of which Cas didn’t understand. But right now...right now, Dean was being pulled into what looked like a vortex of darkness. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t think. How was this happening? The last thing Cas saw before he passed out was Dean’s terrified face disappearing into the quickly closing black hole.

“DEAN!”


	2. Pain

The first thing Cas noticed when he woke up was that he was back in bed. That’s odd, I remember passing out after--oh my God. Dean. He felt a sharp stab in his heart. “Ah!” What the hell is happening to me? Is this what happens when a human experiences loss? I have to get past it. I have to save Dean! He sniffled a bit as a fat tear rolled down his cheek.

“Dean...no...how could this be happening?” He screamed at the empty room. How was it possible that Dean, his Dean, had just disappeared from the motel without a trace?

Cas sat on his bed for a few minutes, contemplating his options. He could stay here and read up on the Leviathan lore. But usually Sam did all the “nerdy stuff”, as Dean called it. He felt another piercing pain in his chest.

Wait.

Where was Sam?

Where had Sam been this whole time? Cas had a fleeting moment of panic until he remembered the day before Sam had said something about getting food for the three as soon as he got up. That explains it. I must not have been out for very long. How would Sam handle this? He would do something completely irrational like leave for days with a simple note saying he was out saving Dean. That’s not actually a terrible idea. I think that’s what I’ll do. Sam will understand. He got up from his bed. He could do this. He had to do this. He had to save Dean.

Twenty minutes later, once he had gathered as much food and as many weapons as possible (and after he urinated again), Cas quickly scrawled a note and set it on a coffee table by Sam’s bed.

Sam,  
I woke just in time to see Dean get attacked by Dick. He was drawn into some kind of vortex and has disappeared. I cannot stay here. I have to save him. I believe you will understand this.  
-Castiel  
(Also, I believe your toilet is broken. I don’t think it’s supposed to emit copious amounts of water.)

It was time to go.

All right, he thought. Dean said he used the bone of a righteous mortal soaked in three kinds of special blood. I have to find them! But how…Kevin.

Kevin ‘I’m in advanced placement so please don’t kill me’ Tran was the current one-and-only prophet of the Lord. Cas had a bit of a fondness for him. Kevin was a lot like himself in that he always seemed a bit lost in life. Also ike Cas, he wasn’t very good at comebacks.

He quickly pulled out the device Dean was sure he eventually would get the handle of and dialed Kevin’s number. After a few awkward wrong-number calls, he got the familiar “Uh, hello?”  
“Kevin! Listen, I have quite a large predicament on my hands. Dean was just attacked by Dick Roman and he just...disappeared after Dick exploded!”

“Um...Dick...exploded? Isn’t that a bit...ironic?”

“Um...I’m not quite sure what you mean by that. But we have a very pressing matter on our hands! I need three kinds of blood to soak the bone of a--”

“A righteous mortal, right?”

“How’d you know?” Cas was astounded.

“Well, lucky for you, Cas, I just translated the last bit of the Leviathan tablet. The blood you need is the blood of a fallen angel (you qualify), Crowley’s blood, and the blood of an Alpha. We have all we need at the bunker. I don’t know how, but those Men of Letters kept everything here!”

“Kevin. You don’t know how helpful that was. Thank you, I’ll be right there.”

“Any time. Can you bring some food, too? I’m running low.”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Um…”

“I’ll see you then.”

“…”

“How do you hang up?” Cas asked, he heard Kevin sigh on the other side.

“The red button.”

***  
Once Cas had successfully ended his call with Kevin, he left the motel parking lot and stood on the side of the road.

“Taxi!”

“Taxi…”

“Taxi?”

He forgot how hard it was to get a ride these days, what with all the buses and seven-seat cars.

After half an hour of searching for a ride, a bright yellow cab pulled over and let him in. He climbed into the stuffy car and looked at the driver. He was a young man, maybe twenty. He had short dark hair and a bright red and blue plaid shirt on. He reminded Cas of Sam, just because of the plaid.

“Well, hello, there! My name’s Alex, and I’ll be driving you to your doom.”

Cas blinked.

“I’m just kiddin’, man. Where to?”

“Um…” Cas scratched his chin. “Do you drive long distances?”

“‘Course! It helps shake up the view, y’know?”

“Yes, I can definitely understand that.” Cas sighed. “Lebanon, Kansas, please.”

“Okie dokie!”

Cas and Alex made small talk throughout the ride. About halfway through, Alex asked the dreaded question.

“So, whatcha goin’ to a city like Lebanon for?”

Cas swallowed. He could already feel his face heating up and his eyes burning.

“Well, it’s a bit of a long story and I’m really not sure you’d believe me.”

“Hey, man, we’ve got plenty of time.”

Cas decided to tell Alex the story of how he met the Winchesters...well, a human-friendly one. He skipped over the whole we-kill-the-monsters-in-your-nightmares bit. When he got to the part about Dean disappearing, he paused.

“My...friend, Dean, was in the motel where you picked me up, up until this morning. When I woke up, he, uh, vanished.” To say the least. “I think someone made him leave,” he lied. “I think the answer to where he is might be in Lebanon. I really miss him,” he confessed.

“Wow, man. That sucks. I’m real sorry about that.”  
“Thank you.” Cas scratched the back of his neck. This had become a habit whenever he was lost in his thoughts.  
“So, uh…”

“Castiel.”

“Castiel, cool name. This Dean is your...boyfriend? Romantic interest?”

“Oh! God, no. He would never--I don’t think he’s--”

“I dunno, man. You can never be too sure these days. From the way you talk about him, I’d say you were pretty head-over-heels for him.”

Cas felt his face heat up into a deep blush.

“We, uh, I don’t think he’s into...men. And my emotions for him are very conflicted at the moment.” He thought back to when he and Dean used to be close. Now Dean always kept him at an arm’s length--both figuratively and literally.

“Well, he could be into a specific man!” Alex wiggled his eyebrows. Cas knew he was only jesting, but the thought of Dean being interested in him made his internal organs feel like they had turned to a liquefied state. He grimaced. It felt weird.

“I... don’t think so. I still need to find him. Once I do, we can sort out our relationship.”

“Fair enough. By the way, you sound real tired. You should try sleepin’.”

“Okay. Wait… before I do, how do you know so much about human feeli--I mean, emotions?”

Alex frowned. Cas noticed it was the first time he looked less than content, even when he had listened to Cas’ story.

“I had a girl back in Topeka. Eliza. We were real close. I thought we were in love, that we’d have our whole lives to spend with each other. She was beautiful. Long, honey-colored hair. Green eyes. Freckles. She was real nice. Funny. One day, when she was out of town, I went to a bar with some friends. We had a good time. Before we left, I had to take a leak. I walked right into Eliza and my buddy Joe makin’ out against the wall. It sucked. Hurt like a son-of-a-gun. I haven’t found anyone since.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, I imagine you felt very upset.” Cas hurt for the man. He knew what being betrayed felt like. He’d dealt with it for years, centuries even.

“It’s fine. What’re ya gonna do, right? Now, sleep. I’ll wake you up when we get there.”

Cas shut his eyes, hoping that his second sleeping experience wouldn’t go as badly as his first.

***

“Cas? Cas, we’re here!” Alex tried waking up Cas. After a few tries, Cas finally heard Alex’s call.

“What? Oh, okay. All right. Thank you, thank you very much,” he stammered. He rifled through his coat pockets. “I have some money...just give me a moment. It’s in one of the pockets.”

“Hey, Cas, it’s fine. Ride’s on me. I really enjoyed myself. By the way, when you find Dean, unbutton your shirt a little. Loosen up. With all them layers you look a bit...uptight. Good luck, man.”

“Okay. Thank you.” Cas stepped out of the car and onto the ground. He had to hold the car for balance. Sitting that long made him sore.

Alex winked, waved goodbye, and drove away. After the car had become a dark speck in the distance, Cas turned around. Alex had dropped him off at the gas station right by the bunker. Thank goodness. I could really use some peanut butter and jelly right now. I wonder if they still sell it here. He reached into his coat pocket and--of course--there were five fifty-dollar bills crumpled at the bottom.

He smoothed them out as best he could, sighed again, and opened the door.He looked around. The store seemed...off, though he couldn’t tell why. He’d been in here many different times to get pie for Dean and kale or spinach for Sam, and not once had it been empty. Today everything was silent. Cas felt a bit guilty for disrupting the peace.

“Hello?”

No answer.

He was starting to feel like he should leave. He decided to get the bare minimum and then leave. As he reached for the Wonder Bread (it was Kevin’s favorite), Cas heard a clatter. Then another. He turned around, silently moving towards the door. The jumpy feeling just wouldn’t leave. He pulled the angel blade from his pocket and prepared from the worst.

Crash.

“Ah!” Cas spun around, holding his blade high. He was met with an unusual sight: a woman who looked to be about thirty was standing in front of him, holding a coffee mug; its contents were on the floor. The liquid was dark red, like blood. He quickly hid his blade in his coat. Might as well ask first, kill later. If it turns out that the substance on the floor is blood. I hope it’s not. I must hurry. On second thought, does Kevin even need food?  
“Oh! Sir, I am so sorry! You startled me so much, I just dropped my coffee mug. Luckily, it’s metal so it didn’t break or anything.” The woman tucked her neatly curled hair behind her ear. She had a strange accent that Cas didn’t recognize. It seemed a bit like that Minnesotan police officer’s, or at least he thought it did. He’d heard Dean mimic her before (not to her face, of course).  
“My name’s Nicole. I’m real sorry about the scare.”  
“Um, I’m...Clarence. Is that...uh…” Cas didn’t give his real name because something about the woman made him want to turn and run.  
“This? Oh, no, that’s just the freezie liquid that was going to go--” she pointed at a large machine. “--in there.”  
“Um...okay? Well, I would like to purchase this bread. Please.” Why would the liquid be in a coffee cup it it isn’t meant for drinking?  
“Okie dokie. I’ll just clean that up later.” Nicole hurried to the cash register. “That’ll be five dollars and ninety-five cents, please.” She paused. Cas tried not to look too concerned with the spill on the floor, but it was giving off a coppery smell. When he turned back to look at Nicole, he noticed her eyes flashed to black for a split-second. His decision was made.  
“Sure, just a second” was Cas’ only reply as he pretended to fish for money. He pulled his blade out, but his move was anticipated.  
“Well, well, I was wondering when you’d notice.” Nicole’s eyes flickered as she smirked at Cas.  
“You don’t have to do this.” Cas always used that line to give the monsters he was fighting a small chance to run. He hated unnecessary killing.  
“Actually, I do. But before I kill you, you’re going to take me to that little campground of yours. You see, your, ah, pet Kevin Tran has warded the whole area. Pathetic.”  
Nicole--or, rather the demon possessing her--pulled a long, silver blade from her jacket as well.  
“Why did you this was going to work?”  
Her expression changed for a split-second into one of fear. She quickly replaced it with a sneer.  
“I have my orders.” She took the chance to dart around the counter and land next to Cas.  
“I don’t want to have to hurt you.”  
“What, won't dirty your pretty little hands without your boyfriend?”  
“Dean?” Why do people seem to think that? It’s really irritating. Am I that obvious about my respect for Dean?  
“You have the wrong impression. And if you think you’ll get to Kevin, well, in the words of my boyfriend, bite me.” He leaned forward and thrust the blade into her gut before she had time to react. The demon’s eyes flickered and died out, and Cas realized sadly that, if he’d had his grace, he could have saved the woman who was possessed.  
He decided not to stay in the gas station for much longer. He only stayed to take a closer look at the blood on the floor. What could this have been for...perhaps it was trying to contact its master. He took a few bags of the Wonder Bread, along with some peanut butter and jam. He passed some apple pie on his way out. He felt the anxious tug at his heart. What was that all about? It never hurt this much when he was in a fight.  
He walked to the bunker, which took about an hour without his grace to aid him. When he got there, he called out, “Kevin? It’s me. I got you food. There was a bit of a hold up, and I really hope you have gotten somewhere in your research. I didn’t waste my time for nothing, correct?”  
“No, I’ve found some stuff, hold on,” came the prophet’s muffled reply.

Cas heard the sound of the many locks on the bunker door being undone and soon he was heaved into the room. He regained his balance and whipped around angrily, only to be met with a spray of holy water in his face.

“Really, Kevin? Was that necessary?”

“Yes. I had to be sure you weren’t an imposter!”

Cas sighed. The prophet always had been thorough.

“Here, let me show you my blood too.”

“Okay, go right ah--”

“That was  _ sarcasm,  _ Kevin.”

He stepped over the rope tied to either side of the door, ducked under the bucket of gasoline, and looked around the bunker. 

 

It was a mess.

Sweaters, undershirts, sweatpants, and the like were strewn about the room. Books were carelessly dumped on chairs, couches, and even the kitchen table. He glanced at Kevin, whose head was hung in a sheepish way.

“Kevin, what’s going on? Why is this such a mess?”

The prophet exhaled loudly. 

“Well, before all the protection was put up, some demons decided to stop by and pay a visit. I was getting groceries. They had just left the room by the time I got back. I panicked and chucked some holy water at them, handcuffed them, and they are currently in the dungeon--which I found by accident, by the way,” he gave Cas an odd look, almost like he was afraid of his reaction.

“Kevin, you did just the right thing. You were very brave,” Cas was genuinely surprised Kevin hadn’t gotten beaten to a pulp; fighting was not his strong suit.

He looked flustered. “Well, I’ll get the blood and the bone so you can get on with saving Dean.” He glanced back at Cas as he left the room. “Seems backwards, huh? You saving Dean?”

“It does.” He wished Kevin wouldn’t have brought that up; he felt sick when he thought about how useless he had been. The image of Dean’s terrified face was stuck in his mind.

A few minutes later, Kevin came back with three mason jars full of blood along with a long, pointed spear, just like the one Dean had used. “Okay, I’ve read up on the lore and it says to soak the bone in the three kinds of blood. I don’t think it matters if it dries, it’s still on there.” He looked at Cas as if for reassurance. Cas gave him a sad smile and nodded.

“All right, let’s do this!” He unscrewed the jars and placed the caps face up on the table in front of them. “Do you want to do the honors?”

Cas nodded. He took the bone from Kevin and placed it on the table and then did the same with the jars. He carefully picked up the bone and dipped it in the first jar. It fizzed and bubbled and then calmed down.

“Chemical reaction, interesting,” Kevin murmured.

Cas did the same with the other two jars, which had the same reaction. After the bone had finished dripping, Kevin picked up the jars and put them on a nearby bookshelf. Cas held the bone like it was a bomb. In a way it was. He didn’t want anything to do with it.

He’d always been one of the more peaceful angels, the one that would try to talk his siblings out of war instead of fighting them. He had fought with Dean about the latter’s kill-first-and-ask-questions-later policy many times. But now, Cas would give anything to see Dean argue. He’d do anything to make the brothers happy once more. 

That was all he wanted at this point.

As he stood awkwardly holding the bone, Cas felt yet another pain in his chest. He was getting used to them, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want them gone. He made a decision right then and there; the easiest he’d ever made.

He would trade places with Dean.

 

 


	3. I Once Was Lost...

The plan was set in Cas’ head before he could even understand where it had come from. 

It was quite simple.

He would find a case that involved Leviathans, solve it, and when he killed the monster he would just hitch a ride to Purgatory. When he was there, he’d have to run like hell to get rid of the Leviathan he’d killed, but he didn’t think it would be that hard; plus, he would be a useless kill anyway without his powers. 

He thanked Kevin for his help and left the bunker. Kevin called a cab service and had the driver park two miles away from the bunker. This meant Cas had to walk there, but he didn’t mind.

When he got into the car, he didn’t say much. This driver was much quieter than Alex had been (he didn’t mind, he was still perfecting the plan in his head).

He sat in the back seat, reading anything he could on a new device Kevin had given him--”It’s an iPhone, it’s not that hard to get the hang of,” Kevin had said. Cas disagreed. He was making do, though. He found an odd, Leviathan-looking case in Risco, Missouri. The headline read:

35 YEAR OLD WOMAN KILLS FIVE IN RISCO

There was a photo of the woman as well. She looked happy in the picture; she was holding someone who Cas assumed was her daughter. She had short, dark hair and large, blue-gray eyes. She looked like the sort of person who would bake a batch of cookies for all of her friends on their birthdays. He couldn’t imagine this woman killing anyone

He looked a bit further and noticed a few lines that stood out to him.

“Carol Scott...mother of two...seemed to have superhuman strength...no signs of prior unhealthiness…” but the real eye-catcher was, “mysterious black liquid runs from sink”.

I guess I’m going to Missouri, Cas thought. He asked the driver to take him to Risco, and the driver (his name tag said Anthony) reluctantly agreed.

Anthony said it would take about ten hours to get there, which was longer than Cas has expected. He had to stop for a bathroom break a few times, which he was slightly embarrassed by. Anthony seemed a bit...disturbed when Cas started to make friendly conversation about urinating. After that, he stopped talking and went to sleep.

*** ***

Cas opened his eye to the sound of the cab sputtering and spitting. “What’s going on?” he asked groggily.

“Engine’s broke,” Anthony muttered. “But we’re in Risco, so you might as well get out.”

Cas ignored his rudeness. He paid Anthony and began walking away from the car when he saw a very familiar man running towards him.

After getting knocked over by a 180-pound ball of muscle, leather jacket, and happiness, Cas looked up, dazed.

“Dean?”


	4. ...But Now I'm Found

“Cas!” Dean grinned, a half-apologetic, half-ecstatic look on his face.

“But...but...you’re in Purgatory!” Cas gaped.

“C’mon, Cas, I’ll take you to lunch, and then we’ll ta--” Dean’s sentence was cut short as they both got tackled by a similar-size ball of muscle and flannel.

“Yep, we found him, Sammy!”

***

After much explaining, Cas understood the whole deal.

Cas woke up after having his first dream, which just so happened to be a nightmare, “the worst kind of dream, and one that hunters get a lot,” as Dean had said. He’d woken up at the exact time when Dean and Sam has left to get some food for them at the local bakery, and, as they’d forgotten to leave a note, assumed the worst. From there, the Winchesters had gone on a wild goose chase, trying to find him before anything bad had happened to him. Since all three of them had seen the news about the woman supposedly killing five people, they’d all headed straight to Risco to sort it out (“it was a shifter,” Dean had said. “No big deal. Took it out right before we saw you.”).

He wasn’t proud, but Cas had shed a few tears, as had Dean. Sam just awkwardly cleared his throat and excused himself, practically sprinting to the men’s room. During this time, Dean and Cas sat across from each other, trying to decide what pie to order.  
“Hey, uh, Cas…” Dean said, cheeks pinkening. “I just wanted to say…”

“I love you too,” Cas said, at the same time Dean said “I’m glad you’re back”.

“Oh.” Cas looked anywhere but at Dean. “Yes. I understan--mmph!” his words were cut short by a pair of soft lips touching his. He smiled into the kiss, gently placing his hands on Dean’s face. The moment was cut short, however, by a certain moose shouting, “I knew it!”

Maybe, Cas decided, this dream fiasco hadn’t been so bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so...I hope you liked it! This took me SUCH a long time to finish, I kept putting it off. I think I started it in March...


End file.
